Honey, It's time to go. We'll go home and we'll open our presents.
No we have to wait.
The son of Santa so daddy will come home for Christmas.
Please don't promise her things she can't have.
Honey I told you. Daddy's on a business trip and he won't be home.
Actually I think he will.
Daddy!
But what about your business trip?
I told them they could wait.
Christmas is for family.
Cut!
Ok everybody that's a cut!
You're doing it again.
What?
Bond Villain.
How many times have I fired you today?
Mmm I stopped counting when I ran out of fingers.
Are we good?
Yeah it was alright.
It was alright. Thank you.
That's lunch.
Ok people we got it! That's lunch!
Eric.
How long have you been here?
I waved. You were kinda in the zone.
♪ Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
Penny who? what? why?...
You said the crew could have a gift exchange.
I gotta go.
No no no you gotta wait a minute.
A said anonymous. Fast. Discrete.
Old man Barnes lives for this.
- He's a distraction. - Look at that face!
Mr. Barnes I'm sorry but we're gonna have to cut this short.
What is that noise?
Where's it coming from? Hello?
Am I the only one that could hear that?
Look you asked me to come down to see you. So I came down. I see you...
Meg. It's Frank again.
Goodbye.
Hi. Umm Sal.
Hi! Meg.
How did you know my name?
That bohunk over there called you Meg.
You need to go.
Ok.
I'm sorry?
Can I help you?
My bell.
Oh yes. Right.
Wait.
Merry Christmas.
You too Mr. Barnes.
You too.
How did she know your name?
- Hey. - I'm gonna go.
Wait! No I thought you were gonna stay for dinner?
Your craft service guys have not even heard for paleo and you're not exactly-
We'll find you something to eat I'm -
- Yes. Yes. - How is this?
Yes! That is truly repulsive. It looks like grandmas old yarn. Where did you find it?
You've seen me knit.
Well done! Yes! taking one for the team.
Hey everyone! This right here is what I'm talking about.
Christmas is not for the elves.
Hurra!
Yeah. Ok.
Eric.
Honey.
Hold on.
Pooch got the hi-roller suite.
It's gonna be epic.
Sweetheart it's gonna be Christmas. You sure you want to go to Vegas for a bro-liday?
Says the head elf. Huh? Hurra!
Well?
Come on, I'll be home by Monday just in time for therapy.
Ok.
Meg?
Ummm Not now.
Now! Meg.
Hi Frank! Hello.
You're not answering your phone.
Ok. Frank listen to me.
The scene with the snow angels I can make it better. I promise I can.
You tell me every year you watch these films with your family.
You say they are the only thing you make that you actually do watch with them.
You are making me older by the minute.
No. That's just life doing that.
It's a figure of speech Meg.
Let me do this my way.
Ok please?
I might be a dysfunctional shipwreck of a human being but I know Christmas.
I can-No I will deliver the perfect Christmas movie.
Keep shooting.
Yes.
No!
I'm sorry?
No. Meg this is not ok.
Oh here we go.
Meg these people have families!
I have a family.
Well no one is making you stay Bob Cratchit. Would you like to leave?
That's what I thought. It is now 2:57, We are gonna come back in 15 minutes and keep shooting.
You shouldn't wear your hair like that.
Makes you look old.
I though I told you to leave.
I like it here.
Plus it reminds me of that.
That's what you're going for right?
You want people to feel like they are really right up in there?
Nose pressed up against the glass.
Life's like a snow globe. You gotta shake it up to see the snow.
Yoo hoo!
How did you get there?
Let me see it.
Come on. Give it a shake.
Look at that! It's so shiny.
It's glitter.
Hmm. That's not what you see.
Snow is falling down slowly.
Tiny perfect little town with tiny perfect little people.
It's everything you'll never have.
I don't need this.
Are you sure about that?
You gotta want it.
Really want it.
Ok.
Meg! Meg!
Meg? Meg?
Meg? Meg!
Meg!
Sweetie?
Honey?
Ah she's awake. Thank goodness.
What?
We were all so worried about you.
Where am I?
Now.
You young lady took quite a spill.
You need your rest. I want you to run along home now and have yourself a nice cup of hot coco.
And if you do that you will be right as rain in no time.
What is this?
Teddy must have dinged y pretty bad.
Wait? Ted?
From college?
We use to date.
Yeah babe and then we got married. I'm your husband.
I - no stop it. Stop doing that.
Uh what is this? Are we filming here?
Where's the crew?
Ok. Uh this is obviously an exterior scene.
How did we get here?
Last thing I remember...
Oh?
I think I tried to cancel Christmas.
Honey you may be a control freak but not even you can cancel Christmas.
Please stop calling me honey. I'm not your honey.
I'm sorry did you say married?
What?
To a lumber jack?
You're starting to scare the kids.
Kids?
Mom. Sorry. Dad told me not to pack it too tight.
Mom?
Yeah.
Ok. This is hilarious.
Crew prank right?
Trying to punish me by giving me "It's a wonderful life".
Complete with that corny modern really really photogenic family.
You guys are good! Let me see you. Wow! You even look like a real brother and sister.
Who's your agent?
Ok?
This is obviously all fake.
Um, this is actual snow. We don't have the money for actual snow.
Christmas is not for the elves!
Hoora?
It's an episode.
Penny! Where is Penny?
Is mom gonna be ok?
Yeah Teddy. She's gonna be fine.
Mia why don't you take your brother home?
I'll be there in a second.
Meg!
Thanks Doc!
Officer!
Office thank goodness you're here. I need to report a potential kidnapping.
This gentlemen right here is trying to take me against my will and I'm pretty sure-
What?
he drugged me because I have no idea where I am or who I am right now.
Baby no!
Yeah! He keeps calling baby and he thinks I'm his wife.
- And we are not married. - You are my wife!
I'm am not your wife.
Problem Sir?
Oh you?
I should have known.
Offir there is absolutely no problem ok?
We were having a snowball fight. My son dinged her in the head.
She has a mid case of amnesia. That's what the doctor said.
I got hit in the head.
Exactly! Yes! You got hit in the head.
You're at home in your tiny perfect town.
I'm in my movie.
Oh no.
I'm in my F-. Standard and practices don't swear. Freaken' movie!
You know what?
Meg.
You're absolutely right.
You are in a movie.
And this right here. This is a set!
Guess what?
The camera is in the truck.
So baby why don't we head towards the truck where the camera is.
This is amazing.
Roll sound!
Wow! I even got the clock tower right.
uh huh.
This is like my snow globe.
Yeah.
Just brought on by stress and energy drinks.
This just feels so real.
Yeah. Get in the truck.
Ok. Yeah.
Oh god she lost her mind.
I'm going to fix you a drink.
Ok.
Whoa.
What? Eggnog? Are you keeping me. That stuff has a squintilian calories per sip.
Just the way you like it.
Full cream. Extra nutmeg.
To you.
Oh. I just have to keep asking myself. WWMOD.
What's that?
What Would Marie Osmond Do.
Oh. Gotcha.
To us!
Mmmm.
Dream food has no calories!
Show me more.
Absolutely. Follow me this way.
A little bit of paradise. My mom use to call it "Landover".
Whoa! It's beautiful.
...Mom. Dad. You're home.
Oh! It's our beautiful kids.
Hey! Come over here.
Oh my goodness.
Let me look at you.
Wow!
You're perfect.
This is the best concussion ever.
Snow ball fight!
Yay!
No! No no no no!
No no!
Baby 20 minutes ago you didn't remember their names.
Well...
So maybe we should start easy.
Snowman.
Yeah!
Snowman!
- Ok. - Alright.
Snowman.
Wow this a really nice dream.
I don't want to wake up.
So afraid this will end.
You say that every night honey and, it never does.
Get unr these... arms right there.
Hey I remember what I use to call you.
What?
Show tune Ted.
Cause you loved musical theater.
I still love musical theater.
I still love you.
So this is what it would have been like.
If i would have joined you on the train that day.
Remember?
uh-hm.
You invited me to join you for Christmas.
I was suppose to take the 3 o'clock train.
But instead I backed out at the last minute.
I had work so, I just didn't show.
But then you turned around and you came witme here.
Wow.
Can you imagine?
I don't have to.
Why?
Because you're here.
You chose to be here. You chose to be with me.
You're gonna remember that.
What if I don't?
They I will use every tool in my formatable arcinal to make sure
that you fall in love with me all over again.
It sure is a lovely dream.
But every dream has to end sometime, right?
Uh. Damn E train.
E train?
Ugh!
Reality.
Where's my phone? I gotta call Penny.
What's up babe?
You're still here?
Yeah I'm still here! I live here!
I'm still here?
Yeah baby you live here too.
What the? Meg! Meg! Wait!
Oh this is no dream.
This is really happening.
ing g out! Wait up Meg! Wake up!
Alright Meg you are going to wake up. Right now!
Ouch!
Nothing is working!
Mom!
Oh! Tiny perfect children still.
Ok.
- Perfect! - Right.
Guys would you go upstairs and get ready for school ok? Come on. Chop chop let's go.
Come on!
Upstairs!
Now baby-
Stop calling me baby.
Stop it.
Ok.
Megan I am going to go upstairs.
And when I get up there I am going to get the kids ready for school.
The slow talking is not working.
Fine! But what I need you to do is relax.
And I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna take the kids to school
and then I'm get Doc Wilson alright?
Now what I want you to do right now is sit down and just relax.
Whoo!
Rocking the rockin-There you go!
There it is.
Ok? Alright.
Good afternoon Meg. See you at
Boss? You are here?
I heard about the old concussion-rooney.
I didn't even recognize you. You're actually happy!
When you get to do what you love, how can you not be happy.
Trains? You love trains?
Ever since I was a boy.
So you hoping on Meg?
Do you stop at Penn station?
Just around the town, like always.
Right.
Ok. I'll find a way out of here. Ha ha!
Let's see.
- Ah!
Hi.
I'm just umm...
Car trouble Meg?
Yeah that's it. I... I don't remember where I put my key.
Oh. I can help you with that.
Sweet.
Hang on. You're that extra.
Extra? Extra what?
Carl?
What?
Just checking your pupils.
You know, you can't be too careful when you've had a concussion.
Oh come on. What ever happen Doctor patient confidentiality in this town.
Well here you go.
Thank you.
Remember Meg, Under the mat is where most people keep their keys.
Copy that.
Hello again Meg!
Are you ready to finish Christmas shopping hun?
Sure.
Excuse me?
Yeah?
I need to use this road.
Can't.
Why is that?
There's a blizzard coming. Not safe.
Uh huh.
And how am I suppose to...
You want my takeon things?
Does it really matter if I do or not?
Everything you need is right here.
Eh perfectly normal.
There's nothing physically wrong with you.
See I told you.
And you... house call. You're so cliché I'm mad at my brain right now.
So Doc how long will this episode gonna last for?
Oh these delusions are usually short-lived. At least that's what all the books say.
She'll see something for example and all of a sudden
Memory.
You know? Just takes the right trigger.
Pull the trigger.
Just a short sharp shock. And then...
Meg?
Meg!
Hey.
Oh.
Hello.
Can I ask you something?
Given you're the personification of a deep physical trauma
and/or my psychotic break, knock yourself out.
What's your hurry?
I have things.
What?
Are you so sure?
OK cryptic omnipresent ghost angel. Empart upon me your whimsical truth.
What if this is your real life?
What? I'm sorry that's all?
That's it.
Later alligator.
After a while you crock of sh...
- It's a Christmas Miracle! - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
You're alright? You're alright?
That's me. I am alright.
I got an idea.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Come with me.
Alright keep your eyes closed.
Don't open them until I say now alright?
OK.
Don't open them until I say now.
Now.
Ah.
Initials?
That's some how suppose to fix everything?
These are our initials.
Ooh.
Look around. Babe this is the place where I proposed to you.
Yeah and...
Where you said yes.
Ok.
You got to remember some of it.
I think you are just miss understanding. It just that you
acting exactly someone or something that I wrote.
The crazy thing is just way too perfect.
You don't say it like a compliment.
It's not.
How is that suppose to make me feel?
I'm sorry. I'm sure you are a really nice guy.
But?
But, I don't belong here.
You know what? You are here.
So maybe it's time that you realize that you are a little perfect too.
Hang on a second that was supposed to be charming wasn't it?
A little bit.
Well you my friend, you are in need of a rewrite.
Just saying.
I bet you remember this!
Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock!
From the chip chippy chopper on my big black block.
What's that?
College? It's the show we did in college. Don't you remember?
uh uh.
Gilbert & Sullivan.
Gilbert... ok.
Show tunes Ted.
Hey Meg.
Mr. Barnes?
We know each other better than that. Call me "Old Man Barnes".
Like in an episode of Scooby-Doo.
Ok.
Hear you had quite a nasty spill. You alright?
Yeah I'm good.
Hey.
If I tell you something can you promise to keep a secret?
I am like crazy lost.
Where do you want to go?
Oh, it's not the question of the day.
No the question of the day is, Do you want help to find you way?
Yes I do. But I also do not want you to tell my Ted. I mean, my husband.
Alrighty.
If you follow this path. Cut through there and basically you're downtown.
Sounds good.
Thank you.
Hey.
Yes?
You realize you are sitting on a fortune here right?
What do you mean?
Well this. This is what everybody wants.
The dream of wonderland.
You have any idea how hard I work every year to capture this exact feeling?
At the pageant?
Exactly.
That's right. The pageant.
Anyway, I'm just saying.
Do something with it.
Make a fortune.
The forest is the heart of the town.
As long as there's a pulse in my chest that will never happen.
Found you.
I guess you did.
And now we're back in civilization.
Adjacent.
Wow.
What?
These majors are exquisite. They're all hand painted.
Just like your grandpa use to make right?
That's right.
Don't look at me like that.
Like what?
Like I don't know you. Alright.
You may not know me but believe you missy, I've been to the circus and seen the show.
The whole show?
All three rings.
Alright. What street does my mom live on?
I'm not playing this game.
What game?
I'm not playing quiz kid Ted.
Why now? If you did you could prove to me that you're real.
Except if I'm a figment of your imagination, wouldn't I know everything you know?
So me telling you wouldn't prove anything.
It's a fallacy.
An Argument from innocence.
What does that mean?
- Oh you don't know what that means? - No.
That's because in college I took debate and you didn't.
Which means I know something you don't.
Which is impossible. Unless... I'm real.
Woooo!
See that right there? That's my real dance.
That's nice.
Let me do. Let me do let me finish it off. Let me finish it off.
Work it out. Alright I'm good.
Ok point Ted.
Alright.
Yes.
Looser buys lunch.
I don't have any money.
Check your back pocket.
Go on.
Oh what the? What the? That's because we share a wallet.
Yeah. My wife hates purses.
That was your brain. Brain blowing.
I got it.
I blew your mind you get it?
- I get it. Yeah mind blown. - Ok. Just saying. You got amnesia.
And here's your extra large rice pudding.
Yay!
And your pancakes.
Oh Oh.
This is all so amazing.
I'll be back with your griddled cheese and your BLT.
Mmm extra B.
Extra B. I remember.
Thank you.
You do realize I'm humoring you right now?
Hey buddy you opened pandora's box with that eggnog.
What's the deal with that clock over there?
Every time I look at it it says 2:59.
It's right twice a day.
The weird thing is that that's the exact time I had my accident.
I'm just waiting for you to try the rice pudding.
Mmm. It's really really good.
You know that very rice pudding was your favorite food when you were pregnat with Teddy Jr.
You couldn't get enough of it. You use to send me at all
hours of the night to get that for you.
You remember?
Sorry I don't remember.
Nope I do not.
So...
I just want to be super clear ok? I don't remember anything about our married life together.
And I will never remember anything about our married life together because
we don't have, in fact we never had a married life together.
So all these adorable little reminds and...
perfect may I add reminds. It's just not working.
OK. I too want to be perfectly clear.
Umm...
You are my wife.
And you're the mother of our children.
And every time you say you're not it's like a dagger through my heart.
So whatever it is you got going on you gotta figure it out
because I'm almost out of perfect.
And I'm serious. If you have to pretend but...
Don't do more damage then what you already have.
Oh shoot.
That man is looking for his car.
Which is all the way out in bumplefudge.
That's my Eric!
Your Eric.
Eric!
Aah!
Megan!
You didn't go to Vegas.
No?
Eric if you are in on all of this I have taken it in, and
I've found my ability to forgive but mostly I am so happy to see you.
Well I would be happy to see my car. I think someone stole it.
Oh that was your car? No no I took it.
You stole my car?
Well I borrowed it.
But Eric listen to me I, I respect your intentions but
I am filled with gratitude that we are both stuck here together
in this crazy town.
Well I'm stuck here cause you stole my car.
It must have been a heck of a concussion.
Eric please tell me you remember our life together?
Honey?
Ted.
Hey.
I expect you to make this car thing right.
Absolutely. All the free firewood you want.
You two know each other?
You know I rather have your house. My offer still stands.
Like I said, It's not for sale Mayor.
Mayor?
Eric the Mayor?
Yes and unfortunately I have a city counsel meeting to get to.
I guess I have to walk.
Sorry about that.
See you two at the festival committee meeting huh.
Really sorry about that.
We'll get your car back to you.
He didn't even wave.
Huh? What?
He didn't wave goodbye.
Ok I'll be right there!
Honey I gotta pay the tab that we ran out on. Please don't-
Oh no! You've gone crazy again. Don't go crazy.
Don't cry first of all. Don't cry.
Second don't steal anything.
Third, try not to act crazy.
Well, I guess i might as well just give up.
Unless.
Wait she said everything I need is right here. That's what she meant.
Hmm?
Ted, what did Eric just say about doing a festival meeting?
Yeah, we do the pageant every year.
Oh! That is the perfect opportunity to work on our relationship.
Absolutely baby. It will be just like College.
Red and Ginger all over again.
Yeah that's - that's right. Show tune Ted.
More like Show tune Ted.
♪ He's got shows tunes he's go... ♪
I get the point.
- Alright. - Thank You.
Meg.
Honey we are gonna run the show from the top ok?
Ok I'll be right there, I'm just gonna grab an eggnog.
Nog it up like I do.
Ok.
Hello. Mayor Eric.
Megan.
There we go. Alright so gonna draw straws and that's how we'll hand out parts ok?
So everybody grab a straw.
I just stopped by to tell you that we just don't have wiggle room for the costumes this year.
But you can sow right?
Uh yeah you bet.
Christmas is not for the elves.
What does that even mean?
Oh, You know just that it's the elves job to make Christmas special for everyone else.
There just not enough money in the budget.
There is never enough money.
Um Eric?
Um you know I've been thinking about some ideas of how the town could make some money.
Oh yeah?
uh huh.
Go on.
I means If this were the city you could put up all these contradicting conflicting
street signs and then give out a whole bunch of parking tickets.
You know what, that is actually a good Idea.
Yeah? Well I'm full of good ideas for how the town can raise funds.
Oh yeah? Like what?
How about the woods?
I mean they're beautiful but they're just so big.
You can certainly develop part of them.
Like a country club.
Yeah exactly!
Maybe some ski lifts. parking lots. Power. Water.
You'd have to bulldoze about half. Maybe 3/4 of it.
Well that might be a little ambitious.
You know, I have to admit. I am seeing you through completely new eyes right now.
Oh yeah?
We should talk over lunch about your ideas.
Action.
There is no room in this inn.
Very good.
What?
Huh? Nothing.
If you have something to say you should go up there and say it. Go for yours.
Really?
- Go for yours. - Alright.
Talent!
I was just kidding but ok.
I have an idea.
Starting tomorrow we're gonna change things up a bit.
No more picking actors by drawn straws. We are gonna do actual auditions.
I would like all of you to come in tomorrow morning having
prepared 2 paged dramatic monologues.
Um, what is a monologue?
Google it.
No Google?
No.
Library?
Alright library it.
Come ready to dance.
I like that you are changing things up a little bit.
Thank you.
You know what I really like?
What's that?
The dance. Give me some.
Oh oh! Hello!
Somebody's got her mojo back.
I yes.
- Yeah! - I do.
Back in college we use to shake it on the dance floor.
Don't there's kids aund.
Shake itrom behind.
Ok kids here.
That's right.
Let's get some work done.
They know how they go here don't they?
I don't know.
So when are we gonna get a tree?
Not today. We have a show to rewrite.
But it's almost Christmas.
Well.
Meg. Ted.
Hey.
Mr. Blevin.
Have you seen our new trees? Just got them in.
You know our tradition. We cut one. We plant one.
That's right.
Do you have trees like this?
Oh I love this.
That is kitchy.
Consider my gift to you.
Oh wow.
Are you serious? Thank you so much.
Just remember my son Lyn.
He's auditioning tomorrow. He's very talented.
I will be sure to keep out my eye out for him.
And I will let you know as soon as AD space goes on sale for our program.
I'm picturing a colorful, full page spread for your shop.
Baby we don't have programs.
We will.
Leave it to me and we're gonna have programs, flyers, tweets, blogs, social network.
Tweet and blogs?
Or just flyers.
See Teddy it's perfect. We got a tree out of the deal too.
Win Win.
But it's not the same.
Meg.
This is pretty.
If you like purple.
And I do.
- Hey. - You got a second?
- Sure. - I want to show you something.
- Ok. - Yeah.
This is beautiful. You did this?
Yeah. Just like our honeymoon.
What's that?
It's our song.
- I can't. - Meg.
I can't I'm sorry.
Come on.
I'm not, I'm not your wife.
And I'm not your Meg.
I know you think I am.
Touching me would be cheating on her.
If you're not my wife where is my wife?
I don't know.
But I do know i'm not her.
Ok?
I'm sorry. I'll go sleep on theo
No.
I know you're in there.
Ok guys. Let's g
lleveryoyone andnd welcocome t. [Cin
I'm just gonna grab a bucket of nog.
Don't hurt yourself.
Hey.
I need to talk to you about something really quick alright?
I think it would make your mom really happy if you auditioned for the show.
Can I get a real tree though?
What did Eric want?
Oh just wanted to remind us about the Christmas party tonight.
So is Teddy gonna audition or what?
I know I tried to convince him but uh, nope.
Hmm.
Ok Rose show us what you got.
♪ Silent night. Holy... ♪
♪ Jingle all the way.. ♪
[Singing Off Key} ♪ Heavenly Peace ♪
♪Hey♪
[Singing Off Key} ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪
Look at them they are just spinning on their toes.
They are spinning on something.
♪ Singing ♪
Mom?
Yeah?
Do I have to sing?
Do you want a part?
But...
I can't just give you a part.
It doesn't work like that.
You're just gonna have to try mama mia.
Everyone lands somewhere. Just give it a shot.
Are we ready?
♪ Silent night. Holy night. All has calm. All is bright. Ri... ♪
Please make it stop.
Um honey.
Good job. Thank you.
Nice work Mia.
Way way to hustle.
Ok I think-
There's just one more audition if you don't mind.
- We're gonna look at cast list first. - Well we should let Mr. Barnes go.
And how many years have you played Santa now?
Everyone auditions.
No gimmies. Thank you.
Everyone auditions so...
We can't wait to see.
Twas a night before Christmas and all through the house.
Sturing. Not e-
Sorry. My throat- gets a little scratchy.
Mr. Barnes I think we have heard enough.
Thank you very much for coming in.
Oh ok. Thank you.
Ok I think we are ready to... post the cast list.
Umm... yeah.
Actually if it's ok.
♪ Singing Toyland ♪
He's really good.
♪ Singing Toyland ♪
What did you say to him?
It's just a little trick I learned in College.
What's that?
If you ever want to land a woman like your mother some day best way to her heart is
a snappy tune and some fancy foot work.
I'll help you figure out what you're really good at ok?
I promise.
Ok everyone!
Now you know what parts you're playing. Now get up on stage and
try blocking before Ted and I have to go home.
Things change.
Come on. Places please.
The ones they picked weren't that good?
Some people just don't know talent when it bites them in the-
Tell me about it. Picking your own kid to play Joseph.
Merry Christmas gentlemen.
See dad they have a real tree.
Yeah I know buddy. We'll get one soon.
Ok.
You were amazing.
Thanks. Now would you be a lamb and get me some more punch?
Meg.
Merry Christmas.
I am really really glad you're here.
I was thinking about what you said.
You know about find a way?
There's something about you that-
Hey honey.
Yeah?
Have you seen mimi? Teddy Jr said she ran off crying.
Mia locked herself in the den and won't come out.
Baby open up.
Go away. Leave me alone.
Mia open the door.
She doesn't want to.
Ok.
What's wrong sweety?
I wanna die.
People are treating me like I'm a total dork.
Oh no.
You're not a dork.
Come here.
Ok.
Alright.
When I was your age same exact thing happened to me.
I auditioned for a play and they told me, and I quote "You have the worst singing voice
I've ever heard in my whole life".
Where they wrong?
No they were not wrong. I sound like a dying cow.
I was like ♪ Woooo woooo ♪
I'm not even exaggerating..
So what did you do?
Well...
I became the story teller.
I became the one who decides where the story goes.
Ok.
I've got an idea.
Allow me to introduce you to our new assistant producer.
Congratulations sweetie.
Thanks!
I'm not gonna even let my kid audition next year.
It's demoralizing.
Why are you always trying to upstage me?
Tell me about it.
Would you stop flirting with victoria.
You think you're better then everyone else.
I can't help it if you can't sing.
- Bribery. - I'm sick of you.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Ok now now now.
It's a party huh.
Just remember where we are huh.
Oh yeah? and just where are we? cause last time I checked this town did not give parking
tickets for no reason mayor.
Ok guys guys. It's Christmas.
Christmas? yeah try telling my kid that. he's been crying all day
cause he got shot down for the pageant.
We are all a little disappointed but it's early. Ok?
We're working on it. Ok.
Everybody. You know what? umm.
Everyone we are here at mayor Eric's house to celebrate Christmas time.
At Christmas time I like to ding my favorite song. And my favorite song is
♪ Toyland. Toyland. Little girl and boyland ♪
♪ Singing Toyland ♪
Yeah! can you do me a favor and grab this.
We are going to dance baby.
- Ok. - You and me.
Alright.
You guys wanna switch?
Come on baby.
Hey!
- Ok that was pretty awful. - Yeah.
Well it was actually the most fun I've had in years.
Hmm.
♪ Toyland toyland, little girl and boyland... ♪
Wait you can sing.
Just a little bit.
You did that for me?
Just to make me feel more comfortable?
Dad! Teddy's trying to climb the Christmas Tree.
I should probably get that.
I guess.
I'll bring us back some special eggnog.
Oh um, about the eggnog I'm not sure.
I tried to button my mom jeans this morning and they were a little...
Snug.
What are you talking about? You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Dad!
Yeeeaaahhh....
Uh...
Stay right here. I'll be right back ok?
Ok.
Coming Mi-Mi.
Meg.
Meg listen, You and I. We have something electric.
And I know you're married but I can work with that.
Work with that?
Yeah I'm like JFK. And you're my Marilyn.
Umm, You do know how that ended, right?
Look, I'm no good with words...
I mean you are smart and worldly.
Like that thing you suggested about developing the land. I mean...
Eric, that was a bad idea. A mistake. Promise me you won't do anything...
Look Meg. You and I belong together.
Ok? Just not all the time.
Wait what?
No Eric...
No Ted.
Ah crappers, my wife.
Penny's your wife?
Yeah. Oh. Ted.
Ted!
Penny.
Ted. Please wait wait.
Hold on. Let me explain ok?
I thought he was the one I was supposed to fix things with.
I thought he was the one I was supposed to go back to.
Meg, I want you to ask yourself a question.
I want you to be completely honest, ok?
What do you think is more likely.
That you're a mom. Married to a boring husband...
No you're not boring. You are the furthest-
Living in a town where the only excitement that happens is for a few days during
Christmas were you direct a pageant that is actually more fun the worst it is?
Or some self fulfilled fantasy where you actually produce Christmas movies instead
of watching them in front of a fire, drinking eggnog.
I get it. I get what you were trying to tell me.
And I didn't want to hear it but...
You know what you were right.
You were right Meg. You are not the woman I married.
If you were looking for a way out, you found it.
Ted. Hey Ted.
Ted.
Hey.
I was uh-I was really pulling for you there sweetheart.
I can fix this. I know I can.
It's really coming down out here.
Yeah. That's the thing about a snow globe.
The snow doesn't just fall, it also swirls.
And you just don't know where it's gonna land.
Ok, I I can dodo this. s. This st I do..
- Latesest scriript pagages? HeH. - Yes!! You gogot it..
♪ [W[Warmingng up sisinging g ♪
TeTeddy! Yoked for.
n even n a realal Chrisistmas
What's going on over there?
Oh! I promised the gingerbread shop the first ad in the program.
But then the Ye Olde Hot Chocolate Shop wanted the cover!
So now they're in a bidding war!
Oh.
I better go see how high they've gone.
Gentlemen, where are we at?
You must be so proud.
It's like a fun house mirror.
You. smaller. And prettier.
I am teaching her. She is learning-
She is learning to control and manipulate to get what she wants.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Meg?
I can't act this way.
Right is not a good angle for me.
And Meg, won't it be... I don't know. Relatable to just have a little baby bump.
I'm glad you are making the most of the opportunity.
You're still stuck. Like a beached whale.
What?
Screw you dream food.
Come on.
Where's Teddy? Where is my Joseph?
Mia!
He locked himself in his dressing room and he won't come out.
What?
Ugh.
Actors.
Teddy, come out of there right now.
Teddy?
Teddy's missing. Take 10. Come on Mia!
Teddy! Teddy!
Teddy.
Hey what's going on?
Hey have you seen Teddy? He ran away from rehearsal?
You lost your own son?
Wow! Wow! How long ago?
That's my fault? Where were you?
Where was I? I thought you had everything under control. You know with the mayor...
I was about to tell the mayor were...
TEDDY!
Teddy!
I'm over here.
Junior!
I'm over here!
Teddy!
Are you ok?
I was so worried about you.
Don't you ever do that again. Do you understand me?
Don't do that again!
Yes Dad. Alright.
Sweetheart.
Don't cry mommy. I'm sorry.
Oh no I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Do you want me to sing for you?
I like singing.
Ok let's get you home.
I'll be right there ok?
The tree.
It's really something.
I found the ornaments.
Oh yay!
Whoa.
We got that one the day Mia was born.
Babe are you alright?
Yeah.
Here's the one with my handprint.
Wow.
I am sure you were practically perfect in every way.
I'm so sorry I missed it.
Mom.
Where the star for the top of the Christmas tree?
I don't know. Help me look for it.
Oh here it is.
Ok. Now that one right there. That one belong to my mama.
And her mom's before her.
Wow.
Hey! Hey!
What's this?
It's an eviction notice.
I own all the woods. Including your house.
Their set to be demolished and sold on Christmas day.
Should have sold it to me when you had the chance Ted.
You can't do this.
It's already done.
Wait! Ted Ted Ted!
Ted Ted! Calm down. Calm down.
Uh huh.
I'm sorry about this Ted.
It's a real shame.
There's an emergency town hall meeting in an hour.
They'll have all the paperwork for your perusal.
See ya in an hour.
This meeting is called to order.
Business at hand is the change in title of plot 89.
Also known, erroneously, i might add,
As "Landover Wood".
That's impossible. Sam Barnes would never allow it.
I don't believe it.
It's not possible.
The forest is the heart of this town.
It's the simple. Un adorned truth.
I'm selling the forest. It's just not the same here anymore.
You all... must have noticed it yourselves.
This town use to be a place for neighborly folk.
But these are mean and various times.
And who am I, to stand in the way of what people want.
Sam, is there anything we could do to change your mind?
I'm sorry.
It might have been a moment of weakness.
But there's simply no going back.
Eric this was you, wasn't it?
I put the investors together.
But this is your town. How could you do this?
Well it was your idea. It was a great one at that.
No.
Thank you Meg.
That's - That's...
That's...
Tell me he's lying.
Ted he misunderstood the...
Tell me destroying our home and everything we love wasn't your idea. Tell me this right now.
Ted he misunderstood me. I had an idea about saving the town but that's... Ted!
Ted?
I just want you to know I didn't decide any of this.
I didn't ask for any of it. It just happened.
You were right Meg.
You're not my wife.
Is it Christmas yet?
Not quite.
I'm just waiting up for the jolly man.
You go back to sleep. When you wake up you can open your gifts, ok?
ok.
I love you.
I love you too.
Can I ask you something?
Sure. What do you want to ask?
When you're gone will mommy come back?
I sure hope so.
I know daddy wants you to act more like mommy.
But I hope mommy acts more like you.
I love you mama Mia.
Yep.
You know you're suppose to ride off into the sunset, not the sunrise, right?
I'll add that to the list of things I know nothing about.
Ok. Help me up.
Oh! That looks good.
They all look the same to me.
No no No. It's in the legs. You do it one way you get angel robes.
You do it another way and you get tail feathers.
It's a matter of nuance. You care if I walk with you?
Knock yourself out.
Figured I'd escort you out of town.
Just like that huh?
Just like that.
It's getting colder.
I warned you.
And everything you did just hurt that boy.
Looks like you managed to cancel Christmas after all.
Stop.
I thought you wanted perfect.
But it's not.
It's perfectly imperfect.
Meg!
So what am I suppose to do?
It's simple. You just have to want it...
with all your heart.
The bridge will do the rest.
Hey Sal?
Please tell me he's going to be ok.
What?
Nothing.
Are you angry at me?
I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.
Now get.
Hey you know what they say about a stopped clock?
W.W.M.O.D.
I have no idea what that means.
It means I'm going to fix this.
Hi, um...
Is Eric, Mr. Mayor here?
Really?
Yes. I-I...
Yeah?
Hey.
I have a proposition.
I thought you weren't interested.
A financial proposition.
I'm waiting.
Ok. So your plan is to log the forest, sell the timber, and
then sell the land back for twice what you paid for it?
Sounds about right.
Ok perfect.
What if I told you that I can get the town to raise the same
exact about of money and you won't have to do a thing?
I think you are watching a few too many movies, zuzu.
That is impossible.
Mom!
I knew you'd come back.
Well as they say, the show must go on.
I'm sorry I just always wanted to say that.
Ok.
Listen...
I've been all over this town today.
And I think that we can use the pageant to raise the money we need.
Eric has agreed to give us back the land if we could match his buyers price, so...
The people of the town would own the forest.
Exactly.
And at the same time it would belong to nobody.
You know it's crazy enough it just might work.
Look, help me fix this, ok?
And once it's over I'll go.
I just couldn't leave you like this.
Hey if it doesn't work at least let me give you this.
Before the business and the property lines, the infighting ruins it all forever.
One last Christmas.
The whole town... all together.
Oh and Ted, we're gonna go back to the original script. Your script.
Tell everyone, anyone who wants a part can have one.
Really?
Yep. From one dying cow to another.
Yay!
Hurry come on! We have to go!
You guys get started.
I'll met you guys there, ok?
Yeah.
I just have one thing I have to do.
Wow. I'm getting kisses now? Ok.
I know you were in there.
I'm sorry.
Hi.
Help you?
You're Santa.
No.
Yep.
I think... You're looking for someone else.
And frankly, just like you I've heard enough.
Please, this town needs a Santa.
I actually...
Haven't improved any since my audition.
But I have.
Please?
Listen, if you won't do it for yourself, please do it for this town.
You're just too late.
I'm almost done. How do I look?
You look beautiful. You're gonna do great. Both of you.
Ok you're on. Go.
♪ Silent Night ♪
♪ Holy Night ♪
♪ All is calm all is bright ♪
♪ Round yon virgin, mother and child ♪
♪ Holy infant so tender and mild ♪
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪
Good job. You did great.
Thank you. That's very kind.
We don't have a Santa to end the show.
Excuse me?
Could you be our replacement Santa?
The costume is right there.
Wait. What are we gonna do? We gotta fill.
Follow me.
Ok.
Ladies and gentleman please enjoy this next treat from
our directors Ted and Meg!
Hey everybody.
Uh huh.
- What? -Come on you go it. - What?
Hey!
Come here. Do the lift.
Ok! Ready? Whoa!
Santa! You're on.
Santa!
Hey!
A merry Christmas to all. And to all a good night.
OkI would like to thank you so much being here tonight.
I know that I really deserve to ask for your anything.
But I'm hoping that between all of us we were able to give enough to save the forest.
Sorry everyone. We didn't do it.
Oh you forgot one. Uh I have a donation.
Old man Barnes?
Everyone deserves a second chance. Even this old town.
We did it!
Give her the gift.
Mia, why don't you give her the gift.
It's from all of us.
Awe!
Oh wow!
Aww it's all of us.
This is the best Christmas gift ever!
Thank you!
Promise me one thing?
Anything.
Don't ever wake me up.
Meg?
Meg.g. Hi..
HiWake u up. Arere you o ok?
What a l latte? Anything?
Ok. You're ok.
Oh! Wow!
I can't believe I'm about to say this but, that was just a dream.
Well let's get you up. Come on.
Ok.
Whoa.
Here, ok let's sit you down. Come on.
Ok I'm almost afraid to asbut is this even still Christmas eve?
OohRa!
Right.
You know what?
I want you to lead great elf liberation.
I'm sorry? What are you...
It's Christmas!
And even though I know you might be my family. I'm defiantly not your family. So go.
Be free!
Wait. But what about sweaters? And the extras?...
You know perfection is over rated.
I'm not into it anymore.
Ok.
Oh! Wait!
What did I decide to get Frank for Christmas?
Oh! Yeah. I was about to messenger that off.
Umm, tickets to cirque du soleil for him and his family.
Hmm.
Is that ok?
You told me to get whatever I most wanted, so I...
You take them! They're yours! Merry Christmas!
Go bring your family and have a great time.
Really?
Mmhm!
But what about Frank?
I have a better Idea for Frank.
Uh thank you!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Merrytmas.
Can I help you?
Would you like to come in? It's Christmas eve. No body should be alone on Christmas.
Oh that's ok. I don't want to intrude on you and your husband.
Oh no. No body is intruding. Come on in. get some nog.
Hey everybody. We got some company.
Meg Waters.
Holy Cow!
Wow.
Oh my...
Meg Waters is in my house.
Wait. Wait. Wait. You two know each other?
Yeah well she's not gonna remember me but in college...
Show tune Ted.
Are you kidding me?
You totally remember me.
Of course I do.
Oh my gosh!
What the?
Wow. I-I can't even begin to tell you how good it is to see you.
But I'm sorry I know you're here with your wife and kids, so...
Oh no, these aren't my kids.
These are my nieces. I mean they're cute. That's my sister right there.
Oh!
And uh, that's her husband.
Oh!
Dale.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
So good to meet you.
Kids why don't we uh, let uncle Ted and his guest have some space.
Yeah that's a good idea.
Come on babe.
You want to sit down?
Yes thank you.
It's incredible. I can't believe you're here. What-I can't believe you're here.
Oh oh, I can't believe...
Who's that?
Oh that's my mom. She passed away when I was a baby.
But every Christmas is like she's watching over me. It's...
I believe she is.
I don't wanna sound like I'm not happy you're here. I'm over the moon you're here.
But uh... why are you here?
Well...
Oh my... I know I know, I made this!
I made this globe!
It's really badly broken but I can fix this for you.
I believe you can.
You can fix anything.
Hurry up dad. I wanna open my presents.
Calm down son.
Just let me hand my mom's star.
See.
It's like she's watching over us.
Perfect.
Wow! What was that for?
Aww I saw the mistletoe you put up...
What mistletoe are you talking about babe? I didn't put any mistletoe up.
Just shut up and kiss me.
Finally.
Now it's perfect.